Oh BBC fat cats, you don’t know what you’re doing


They were under the impression that everything was over. . . It’s getting there, almost.

It being the credibility, esteem, and very existence of the BBC.


But the real loser wasn’t the BBC, it was his paymasters. Us, the Great British public


Lineker used silly, inflammatory, supremely unhelpful language about the Government's new migrant policy


Yesterday’s game had two equally chaotic halves, but Gary Lineker came out on top.

However, his actual victims were his paymasters, not the BBC. We, the people of the United Kingdom.

Did any of the organization’s high-paid executives give a second’s thought to the possibility that the poorest people in the country would bear the brunt of this fiasco?

That no one in the corporate boxes at Old Trafford was inconvenienced when Match Of The Day was shortened to a bare 20 minutes of football.

Those who could watch their favorite team via other means, such as subscription packages or streaming services, avoided the figurative tax.

It was the people who were trying to save money despite the rising cost of living.

Those who look to MoTD as a way to relax and unwind after a long week.

Their celebration was cut short to a miserable twenty minutes of meaningless match play.

Imagine being blind and listening to a program of crowd noises from a company that takes pride in its inclusiveness and diversity.

For all we know, the BBC has been too busy not smacking Gary’s bottom for the Bank of England to deal with the complexity of selling Silicon Valley Bank UK, which involved billions of pounds and affected thousands of investors.

There have been strikes by train and Tube drivers, teachers, nurses and junior doctors, ambulance drivers, lawyers, the Royal Mail, trash collectors, government workers, university faculty, and students over the past six months.

They welcomed Match Of The Day on Saturday. Wow, what a place we live in.

And it’s all because of some careless Tweeting by a man with impressive football credentials from the past.

Gary has always spoken out strongly in defense of migrants’ rights.

He’s a morally upstanding guy who’s helped house refugees.

For the record, I had a huge crush on Gary when I was ten, and we’ve since shared a few boozy lunches as adults.

Crush now gone.

Yes, Gary’s language was childish, inflammatory, and completely useless.

The BBC gave this man a platform in December to criticize Qatar’s human rights record.

But when he dared to criticize the state of human rights in his own country, he was met with outrage and a possible trip to the MoTD subs’ bench.

The hypocrisy and double standards are galling.

The BBC’s recent actions have been even more absurd and bureaucratic than those depicted in the BBC2 satire W1A.

Presenters shouldn’t be robots. Character is crucial.

Gary Lineker, a man who enjoys salt and vinegar crisps as much as I do, has opinions that I find just as intriguing as those of Prince William, Ant & Dec, or, who knows, Adele.

Simply put, I couldn’t care less what they think of me.

To appease the ignorant, intelligent people are effectively being silenced in today’s social media era.

The BBC excels at many things and usually gets it right.

The BBC is still the best at covering major events on television, as seen with the recent World Cup and the death of the Queen.

Gary Lineker may not realize it, but he has just sparked a revolution.

Donkey gong in office?

FINALLY, a campaign I can get on board with.

There have been calls for an “Best Animal Performance” award to be given out at the annual Hollywood ceremony.

In 2012 I was sent to Los Angeles to 'interview' Uggie, the Jack Russell who won the Palm Dog Award at the 2011 Cannes Film Festival


Donkey Jenny (with her able doppelganger Rosie) steals the show in this sequel to the Irish hit, The Banshees Of Inisherin, which was nominated for nine awards.

Too right.

The Jack Russell terrier Uggie, who took home the Palm Dog Award at the 2011 Cannes Film Festival, was the subject of a 2012 “interview” that I conducted in Los Angeles.

The black-and-white silent film The Artist became an instant classic thanks to the antics of the dog Uggie.

Dora, my dunderheaded, rent-evading dog, can’t even “sit” when told. Rain forced her to take care of business last night, so she did her business in the house.

The animals featured in Hollywood films are the best of the best. Those in the top 1%.

They put in the time and effort that their human counterparts do, spending as much time as necessary perfecting their craft and making sure that they have “nailed” (hoofed) their scene.

They don’t have the same needs as humans, so they don’t need a million dollars, a tractor, and a rider made of blue M&Ms.

These loyal geniuses only need a few bones, some warm water, and some conventionally grown carrots.

Give them a gong.

Oscars snub is a shame for Ukraine

AH, Hollywood.

An actress who earns £12 million per film “standing with” war-torn Ukraine is a sight to behold.

Or perhaps you’ve seen an actor strut down the red carpet in a £8,000 Tom Ford suit while pausing to upload a photo on Twitter, his biog displaying a tiny yellow and blue flag with pride.

Now that’s solidarity.

It’s a shame, then, that the Academy Awards committee once again turned down Ukraine’s president, Volodymyr Zelensky, who wanted to give a virtual speech on Sunday night.

This would have been a great reminder of why we can’t give up on Ukraine right now, at a time when middle America is starting to feel compassion fatigue.

But hey, the Oscars have bigger fish to fry.

Those celebratory glasses won’t fill themselves, after all.

No clue what people want

Admittedly, some of my all-time favorite films are Speed, The Fugitive, and Notting Hill. (with special recognition for Richard Curtis’ About Time, Paddington 2, and Free Willy).

Hence, perhaps it is not surprising that I was completely unmoved by Everything, Everywhere, All At Once, the big Oscar winner this year.

Michelle Yeoh won Best Actress at the Oscars for her role in Everything Everywhere All At Once


In fact, I made it through the first hour of this surrealist, 2 hours and 20 minutes long borefest before giving up and going to bed early so I could reclaim some of my life.

Maybe I’m just a cultural heathen.

Perhaps the Academy Awards have become too far up its own arrogant arse and have forgotten what people actually want to watch.

Rishi’s in the swim

RISHI’s new heated pool is so energy intensive that the local electricity grid had to be upgraded to keep up with its power needs.

What a sentence.

The PM's new heated swimming pool uses so much energy, the local electricity network had to be upgraded to meet its power demands


Our multi-millionaire Prime Minister’s natural bedfellow, The Guardian, reports that North Yorkshire has had to install extra equipment in order to keep up with the needs of the Prime Minister’s personal residence.

I tried to be really mad about this at first.

But, well, we all know that our Prime Minister is a former banker who is married to a billionaire heiress and is independently wealthy beyond imagination.

Rishi isn’t in the position for the salary, unlike his predecessor Boris Johnson, who has made nearly £5 million since leaving office.

As an alternative, the ego. (He is also covering all costs on said pool).

Without a doubt, Rishi will never be in a position where he must decide between keeping warm and keeping fed. alternatively, take a shower or bath. (Pool or jacuzzi maybe).

He studies economics, though. He is compassionate. And his sole intention is to rescue us from this predicament.

The fact that Rishi can do the butterfly at 85 degrees is the least of our concerns.

Yes, fat chance

APRIL Fool’s Day is still two weeks off.

We’re warned against phrases like “wolfing down,” “eating like a horse,” and “pigging out” in case they offend the overweight.

The British Dietetic Association also recommends not using the phrase “war on obesity” because it portrays overweight people as the enemy. (It’s also worth noting that the BDA didn’t use the term “fatties”).

A more appropriate term for our heavier-set friends would be “individuals with higher weight,” and any comparison to animals is dehumanizing.

However, unless I’ve completely lost it, I believe that horses typically only eat grass, hay, and the occasional Polo mint.

If the British diet really looked like this, nobody would be overweight.

Just a thought.

NOW AND THEN a law is passed that makes you scratch your head and wonder why it took so long to pass.

As an example, consider the revolutionary announcement made by the British government last week: all British schoolgirls will have equal access to football programs, just like their male counterparts.

Only 41% of secondary schools have included football as an equal PE option for both boys and girls.

As a result of their historic Euro Cup victory, the Lionesses successfully lobbied for the name change.

Forget zig-a-zig-ah, this is real girl power.

Who else could care less if Meghan and Harry show up to the Coronation?

In May, no doubt, it will be charming to see King Charles wear his dapper little crown.

Harry and Meg have not confirmed if they will attend King Charles' Coronation in May


After everything the royal couple’s offspring and their spouse have put their family and country through, is it fair to call them “deserving”?

The Bachelor's Zach Shallcross visits final four hometowns tonight
Watch ‘Karen’ launch foul tirade after hitting vehicle in church parking lot

ANY more air time?

The two extravagant eco-warriors would appreciate not having to travel far to watch the game, so we suggest they stay in their £11 million Montecito mansion. All around a good deal.


Micheal Kurt

I earned a bachelor's degree in exercise and sport science from Oregon State University. He is an avid sports lover who enjoys tennis, football, and a variety of other activities. He is from Tucson, Arizona, and is a huge Cardinals supporter.

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